The King and Steph may know more about balling at the highest levels, but our fantasy experts have a lot more experience building pretend lineups for a pretend game.
With that in mind, André Snellings and Kyle Soppe have put on their captain hats to pick fantasy teams -- based on head-to-head roto scoring for the remainder of the season -- from this year's NBA All-Stars.
And unlike the NBA's All-Star draft, we'll tell you who was picked last.
1. André Snellings: Stephen Curry, Golden State Warriors
Curry is a flawless roto player, strong across the board with a Mike Tyson-punch category as well. Dude shoots like Will Smith at Bel Air Academy and is making treys at a volume and clip that's better than some of the All-Stars shoot twos. Plus, he does stuff like this, and since I'm the boss of the team, he can't make me wear his shoes. Done and done.
2. Kyle Soppe: LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
How about a third straight season averaging more than 25 points and more than14 assists-plus-rebounds? Bron's fantasy stock hasn't dipped in the second half of a season since returning to Cleveland, so while the franchise around him is in a bit of disarray, I'm happy to build my All-Star fantasy squad with the biggest threat to Father Time this side of Tom Brady.
If not for his irritating tendency to get hurt mid-game and destroy DFS lineups whenever I recommend him (he has to lead the league in that), Davis would be the perfect roto big man. He's strong in everything except made treys, and every so often, he'll drop back-to-back games of 48-17 and 45-16, you know, just cuz he can.
4. Soppe: Kevin Durant, Golden State Warriors
Jrue Holiday is having a nice season, no? Well, all KD is doing this season is dish out more dimes than Holiday while blocking more shots than Joel Embiid and draining more 3s per game than Bradley Beal. It's cliché to say that you can't stop a player, you can only hope to contain him ... to be honest, I have no idea how you even contain this man.
Somehow, Kyle let me get the overall top roto producer per game this season in the third round. The Beard should have been MVP last year and is on a mission to make sure the league gets it right this time. Plus, having him and The Brow on the same team will allow us to replicate this classic commercial whenever we feel like it. "But I'm famous too!" ... "I would disagree."
Can someone tell André that the league we live in today is one dominated by swing men and not point guards (no matter how good they may be)? Sure, Antetokounmpo isn't much of a threat to beat you from distance, but that matters about as much as penguin not being able to fly. That is to say, what is the need to blend in when you are a rare breed who can get everything you need in different ways? The Greek Penguin takes nearly 77 percent of his shots from inside of 16 feet and is converting those shots at a 61.2 percent rate: why change?
The Big KAT is a production metronome. He never misses games, he gets a double-double every game, and he always gets better in the second half of seasons. Plus, with this picture, he's become the poster child for the human race's struggle against life. Speaking of "life," it'd be nice if I could get that immovable force on my team ...
His usage rate is down 14.4 percent from last season, and he still leads the league! If this is his floor as he gets used to a nice roster (24.9 PPG, 10 SPG, and 9.6 RPG), sign me up. He has twice as many triple-doubles as any other player in the NBA, and he continues my building of an empire around well-balanced players.
9. Snellings: DeMarcus Cousins, New Orleans Pelicans
Yes! Kyle somehow let me get all three of the MVP-caliber former Kentucky Wildcat one-and-done bigs on one team! Davis is overjoyed to be teamed back with his dawg, and Boogie gives me the greatest handcuff in the history of handcuffs for any potential Davis injury. Plus, every so often, he drops 40-20 games just to let everyone know what he could do all the time, if he wanted to.
10. Soppe: Joel Embiid, Philadelphia 76ers
The Sixers have unleashed Embiid in the first half of the season, and ya know what? They are a fringe playoff team. Funny how that works, and given that I am being asked to invest for only the short half of a season, I'll roll with Embiid here. He's a fun player to root for ... the 36.3 points and 16.8 rebounds per 48 minutes are simply gravy.
11. Snellings: Jimmy Butler, Minnesota Timberwolves
Kyle took Embiid after I took Cousins, preventing me from a complete big man monopoly. On the other hand, that left Butler right there with the 11th pick. I just got done weighing in on how Butler is a better pick moving forward than Kyrie Irving. In that article, Kyle picked Kyrie instead, and he went on to take Kyrie with his next pick.
12. Soppe: Kyrie Irving, Boston Celtics
I'm drafting his ability to put up numbers for the Celtics, so there is no concern for me about pairing him with LeBron. Irving's career-high 47.8 percent shooting from the field is no mistake, and given the trajectory of this C's team, it's very possible that his best is yet to come this season.
13. Snellings: Bradley Beal, Washington Wizards
After going big early, I'm ready to populate my team with shooters to add to what I started with Curry. Beal has the shot, he's just lacking the nickname to fit in with The Chef and The Beard ... let's just call him Beal for now.
The Unicorn has "struggled" over the past two months, and what do those struggles look like? Roughly 21 points, 6.7 rebounds, and 3.5 blocks-plus-steals. Yeah, I can work with that. I get a second do-it-all big man who comes with a high floor and a limitless ceiling.
Roto-wise, Lillard is like the lite version of Curry. By bringing him into the fold, I keep Kyle from being able to blunt what I've been building with the triple-threat (scoring/shooting/passing) guards of Curry, Harden and Beal. Adding Lillard to that core is almost comp, guaranteeing I'll dominate their fields of expertise.
Pairing Wall with Embiid gives me a monopoly on the NBA dance market, not to mention a pretty good point guard who is just not rounding into form. The Wiz have upped his minutes to 36.9 in January, and with him shooting 41.2 percent from distance this month, there is the potential that Wall is becoming the well-rounded threat whom we've only been able to dream about prior to this season.
I admit, I had wanted Wall with this pick, but mostly so I could celebrate in the draft by doing the John Wall dance. Since Kyle snuck me, I had to find another player whom I could do a musical celebration for. Oladipo works, because I could sing his last name to the beat of Jay-Z's "Hola Hovito" and put it in a celebration song. "Ola -- DIPO!"
A proud member of the elite "first name Kyle crew," Lowry has proved his health over the past week, and his January numbers don't look much different than the stat line that ranked him among the elite last season. I have a pair of Celtics and Raptors on my squad, understanding that they value the regular season more than the front-running teams and will thus battle for me until the very end.
19: Snellings: Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors
While Durant obviously is a monster, the real backbone for the current Warriors dynasty is the Curry/Green combination. They're this generation's Stockton and Malone, and it's only right to have them on the same squad. And, for good measure, adding simultaneously the best big man defense role player and the best big man pure point guard in the league just cemented Kyle's downfall in about three categories.
20. Soppe: Al Horford, Boston Celtcs
Horford's name appears on the short list of players averaging a block and at least five dimes a game this season, making him a high-floor type who has significant scoring upside, given his career shooting percentage (52.7 percent). He's not going to win me this matchup, but he's not going to lose it for me, as he has produced a very similar stat line three months running.
21: Snellings: Klay Thompson, Golden State Warriors
Staying on the theme of the real Dubs, I took Klay over DeMar DeRozan as my last swingman. More comp in 3-pointers, and if my team ever decided to just have a 3-point shooting contest in practice, the whole world would pay to come watch.
22. Soppe: DeMar DeRozan, Toronto Raptors
My unofficial reports are suggesting that DeRozan was tired of drafting himself in fantasy leagues and losing and decided to adjust his game to help the cause. Through 45 games this season, DDR has made 17 more 3s than he did all of last season and is averaging 25 percent more assists per game than he did in any other season.
I rounded things out with Aldridge over Kevin Love. Love is struggling now, relatively speaking, but he does have potential upside if the Cavaliers were to trade him in the next couple of weeks. Aldridge is balling right now, though, and while there's the risk that Kawhi Leonard could come in and diminish his production, it's also (unfortunately) in play that Leonard never does get himself right this season. Frankly, based on the rest of our teams, at this point, it doesn't even matter. This contest has long been won.
24. Soppe: Kevin Love, Cleveland Cavaliers
The team apparently doesn't like him; he is averaging his fewest minutes since his rookie season; and he is still racking up 18.4 points, 9.4 rebounds and 2.2 3-pointers per game. Either they figure this out and his production increases or he gets moved and goes all Timberwolves-Love on the fantasy community ... I'm cool with either.
Snellings' takeaways: First off, it has to be said, that if we were actually playing this out as a fantasy league I would dominate Thirsty Kyle's crew. Roto fantasy basketball, even roto H2H, is all about dominance in categories. Kyle's team is a collection of a bunch of unique and outstanding talents. My squad is full of roto beasts, as I've currently got eight of the top 11 players on the Player Rater on my squad.
He's not winning 3-pointers or free throw percentage ever. And I've got all three of the big men in the top 10 on the Player Rater, plus Draymond as the ultimate defensive big-man role player (the fourth of the top-five bigs on the Player Rater) to lock up the big-men categories as well. So, fantasy-wise I'm killing the game.
My team also is all about the fun narratives and teammates. I've got both Boogie and The Brow, Butler and the Big KAT, and I've got all three OG Warriors. So, not only do I have the ridiculous stats, but I've also got the ultimate handcuffs in case any of my guys get hurt.
I've got Dame Dollaz to create the theme music for my squad, Ola-DIPO's name to chant in song form, and I've even got all the junkyard dog, gritty guys in Green, Dame and Butler to give my team an edge. My team fits in real life and in fantasy, plus we'll look cool and talk trash while we're winning. Thirsty Kyle never had a chance.
Soppe's takeaways: My team will win this battle because of my categorical consistency as a result of loading up on players with no real fantasy flaws.
I've got the top two players in terms of triple-doubles (James and Westbrook), the top two in dimes (Westbrook and Wall), the top two in blocks (Porzingis and Durant), and the only two players making at least 10 shots a night (James and Antetokounmpo).
On top of all of those stats, I've got the unquestioned leader in anger (Westbrook) and fun (Embiid) ... come get some sir!
Andre's team is cute, and his three Warriors will play nice in the sandbox together, but in this ruthless number-chasing world in which he live, give me the LeBron hate circle on my way to a run-away victory.