The Scout Team: Week 5

There are lots of owner types I really, really hate. The guy who still makes "It's not a Toomer" jokes at the draft table. The gal who never pays on time but expects her championship check the Tuesday after Week 16. The guy who always forgets to bench his bye-week players except, of course, for the time he plays you. But the owner type I really, really hate the most is the guy who thinks his Owen Daniels is more valuable than your Brandon Jacobs, who can't see parting with backup Matt Cassel "unless you make me a really sweet offer" or who might be willing to trade you Anquan Boldin for Pierre Thomas -- if you throw in Wes Welker.

Unlike the rational, reasonable prognosticating phenom that is Fantasy Scout (and we'll get to its Week 5 picks in just a bit), this guy is hopelessly deluded. His team might be 0-4, and dead last in points scored, with lineup holes the size of a donkey's nostrils, but in his mind, his players are all aces, and you can never make a trade offer that's good enough. I reserve my most furious shaken fist for this guy. Dingbat.