Best players, coaches of preconference play

Now that the presents are opened and the tree is on the sidewalk like a body with a chalk line around it, it is time to hand out my annual preconference awards.

Drum roll, please.

Aren't awards great? Well, for these, you don't have to get dressed up and prepare a speech, or look happy and clap when someone else wins. You don't get a trophy, plaque or certificate of achievement for these. You don't even get a hearty handshake.