Bracket Predictor: Circle K

We ran the Bracket Predictor, and we know one of these three will win it all. (We'll tell you who.) Getty Images

Set it and forget it.

Good pitch. Better coping mechanism. Because when it comes to the tourney, I might know the angles like Sam Rothstein, but I can make decisions like his wife. I can't ditch a first love, so I've managed to shove Gonzaga deep into the bracket every year since Adam Morrison wept, since before Casey Calvary threatened to bomb Paris, since before Axel Dench could pull off a droid's arms.

So this year, I let Bracket Predictor take the wheel. It's loaded with a bunch of telling algorithms based on crucial stats. For instance, Seed Difference, I believe, has full zygote samples of all participating tourney players going back three generations. Decent stuff.

And your 2010 NCAA tournament national champ is … Let's say this: A "K" figures prominently. Team, state, coach … Kennel Krazies? Nah. Gonzaga's still just the best team from Spokane.

The storylines

Most vulnerable No. 1 seed: Kentucky. In fact, even in the Round of 32, the Predictor has the Cats in a struggle against Texas. This isn't much of an editorial from HAL; because even die-hard UK fans can admit that their team can get into a nail-biter with NJIT if it's playing outside of Rupp.

Least vulnerable No. 1 seed: Kansas. The computer doesn't just have the Jayhawks beating Lehigh; it has the team herding the population of Bethlehem, Pa. and harvesting them in a Matrix-like dreamscape. Remarkable. Suffice it to say that KU is on a cruise to Indy. Well, through the first round, at least.