The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Whenever you hear the name Roberto Firmino, what are the first phrases that come to mind? If the answer is anything other than "incredible tattoos" and "no-look finish," then you're kidding yourself.
Well, the forward has combined both of those trademark characteristics in order to celebrate his amazing success this summer for both club and country.
In a post on Instagram, Firmino has unveiled a huge new tattoo across his entire back featuring images of him and his family with the Copa America he won with Brazil and of himself holding aloft the Champions League trophy he won with Liverpool.
And just to complete the effect of the unveiling during a spot of preseason R and R at the Brazilian resort of Kenoa, Firmino gives a no-look pose in the picture.
Firmino is one of world's football's leading lights when it comes to tattoos, but there are plenty of other stars who (for better or worse) are big on their body art...
Lionel Messi's giant dog Hulk plays piggy in the middle
Lionel Messi may only now be ending his break as he prepares to join Barcelona for their preseason tour of the United States, but he has still been playing plenty of football over the summer.
Earlier this month he enjoyed a kickabout on an Antigua beach with his family and a young British holidaymaker. Now he is been filmed enjoying a rondo in the garden with his two sons, Thiago and Matteo, and their huge dog Hulk doing all the chasing in the middle of the circle.
As you can see in the clip, Hulk is a dogged (sorry) competitor with a tireless work ethic, and he manages to make plenty of timely tackles and interceptions.
No wonder Messi and so many of his fellow stars love their pet dogs so much.
Will somebody please help Dani Alves find a club
He may have won an astonishing 43 trophies in his career but, at the age of 36, Dani Alves is unable to find himself a new club.
The veteran right-back captained Brazil to Copa America glory this summer to add to his haul of multiple league titles and domestic cups in Spain, Italy and France and three Champions League triumphs with Barcelona.
However, after leaving Paris Saint-Germain at the end of last season, he has been forced to post a reminder to clubs around the world that he is indeed available for work.
Someone please help Dani Alves! 😂 pic.twitter.com/BhWAtKV3y7— ESPN FC (@ESPNFC) July 27, 2019
Whatever next? A post on LinkedIn? Standing outside training grounds holding a sign that says "Will Work 4 Pay As U Play" on it? Shuffling just into frame of a new-season squad photo in the hope that constitutes a legally binding agreement of employment?
The sooner Pep Guardiola stops messing around and finally allows us to see the great man finally grace the Premier League, the better.