The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Two years into his second stint with the club, Stefan Hagerup scored his first goal for Norwegian side Ullensaker/Kisa IL on Sunday.
As well as being a fantastic 25-yard free kick, Hagerup's goal happened to be the 89th-minute equaliser in what proved to be a dramatic 2-1 away win.
Oh, and we should probably also point out that Hagerup is also the Ull/Kisa goalkeeper.
Down in the Norwegian second division, Ull/Kisa keeper Stefan Hagerup scored the first goal of his career on Sunday.— Who Ate All The Pies (@waatpies) October 21, 2019
It also happened to be an 89th-min equaliser in a dramatic 2-1 away win over Skeid.pic.twitter.com/L7YyyhJPAK
With that, Hagerup joins the illustrious "Goal-Scoring Goalies" club -- and he goes straight in as a member of the even more exclusive "Set-Piece Specialist" chapter, too.
"Rooney!" - Diego Costa winds up Trippier
Kieran Trippier has revealed that he's already picked up a nickname at Atletico Madrid, courtesy of one Diego Costa.
After joining in the summer, the former Tottenham man has proved an instant hit at the Metropolitano with fans already immortalising him in banner form at the stadium.
Speaking in an in-depth interview with MARCA, Trippier was asked who the funniest player in the Atleti dressing room is.
The England international right-back replied that Costa has been calling him "Rooney" since the first day he arrived in the Spanish capital.
"I played against Diego many times in the Premier League. Every single day he's making jokes," Tripper said. "Every single morning, probably 10 times a day, Diego just calls me 'Rooney' and everyone starts laughing."
By my maths (assuming the banter has continued during the international breaks, and let's assume it has) Diego Costa has called Kieran Trippier "Rooney" 950 times so far. That would have to test your patience. pic.twitter.com/NhluvDlOfB— Adam Hurrey (@FootballCliches) October 21, 2019
Tripper also added that Costa's observational humour has extended beyond nicknames.
He added: "Diego says many times that I look like boxer. I don't think I do."
We can only admire his formidable resolve. With Costa on the warpath, we'd have probably slapped a transfer request in after the first day.
Pep Guardiola's restaurant reviewed
Pep Guardiola might do a lot of things well when it comes to laying on a feast in Manchester but it would appear that his restaurant isn't quite as impressive and slickly drilled as his City squad.
While in town for Sunday's Premier League clash between Manchester United and Liverpool, ESPN Brasil decided to try the fayre at Tast Cuina Catalana, the local eatery co-owned by Guardiola.
The City coach owns a stake in Tast along with Ferran Soriano, Txiki Begiristain and Spanish chef Paco Perez, a revered name in the world of gastronomy and holder of no less than five Michelin stars.
However, that didn't stop ESPN reporter Francisco De Laurentiis from enduring a distinctly underwhelming dining experience at a trendy restaurant that has quickly become a favourite among footballers from either side of the Mancunian divide.
Indeed, De Laurentiis felt compelled to write a review of his post-game meal which came bearing the rather portent title: "I paid a lot, ate well, but left hungry."
Paguei caro, comi bem... Mas saí com fome: como foi almoçar no restaurante de Pep Guardiola em Manchester https://t.co/aKfMkEK6VS— Francisco De Laurentiis (@f_delaurentiis) October 15, 2019
Things start well enough, with compliments flooding in for the modern decor (in particular the "curved furniture" and "beautiful lamps") as well as the similarly tasteful entrees.
Things then take a turn for the worse as, despite the ultra-luxe presentation, the Tast portion sizes come under harsh criticism.
"However, when the food arrives, I might say that I was a little disappointed," the review read. "The dishes are all out of order, first the octopus, then the chicken, and after some waiting, the squid rice. An unforgivable mistake in any high-level establishment, as it makes customers uncomfortable -- while some of us eat, others just watch as they remain hungry.
"As for the meal itself, tremendous. For example my dish of octopus (a meat that is difficult to prepare) was impeccable, with a very good sauce. The presentation, resembling how an octopus would look in the sea with open tentacles, was a nice detail.
"The only problem with the meal was the tiny size of the portions. In just a few bites, it was gone, leaving a feeling that you could eat much more.
"Not even the board of cold cuts and the croquetas sated the hunger of our group, but there is nothing to do other than ask for the check, pay and get back to work -- even with our stomachs still rumbling."
De Laurentiis reveals that the hefty check was split seven ways, costing £26 per person, despite him and all of his fellow diners leaving the restaurant with their stomachs still growling.
"At least the water was free," he pointedly concludes.
Milan fan's one-man protest against Suso
One AC Milan fan has taken it upon himself to pressure his club into dropping Spanish forward Suso from their starting line-up.
Suso has been struggling for form so far this season, failing to find the net in any of the Rossoneri's opening eight league games despite playing the full 90 minutes in all but one.
As such, the irked Milan supporter has vowed to honk his car horn everywhere he goes until Suso is benched.
"This is a civil protest. If Suso continues to play, the club will have to explain to the authorities what the hell is going on," he says during the video, posted on Twitter.
"The message is simple: if you want to go back to sleep, take Suso off."
Stefano Pioli oversaw his first fixture as Milan's new head coach on Sunday -- a disappointing 2-2 draw against Lecce in which Suso played the whole game.
Stevenage's burger challenge
Stevenage are hoping that by partnering up with their shirt sponsors they'll be able to transform the League Two club into the biggest in the world -- at least online.
As such, the Boro have launched a campaign with Burger King in which they plan to challenge fans to perform various tasks, both in real life and in video games, to win prizes and rewards from the fast food restaurant.
Launched across 10 countries, the challenges vary on location -- from simply scoring goals, to scoring specific types of goals (i.e. directly from a corner) -- all while wearing a Stevenage replica shirt with Burger King's logo on the front.
The Boro hope to see "millions of people" interact with the club and share their efforts right across social media in a bid to win menu items such as Whoppers, Chicken Royales and fries.
Here's wishing them the very best of luck.