It's transfer deadline day, so it only seems right that we take a look at the best of the worst unveilings football has ever seen.
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After securing a dream move to Barcelona in 2017, Paulinho showed exactly why he'd commanded a huge fee by wowing the Camp Nou crowd with four terrible keepy-uppies.
Paulinho had the same problem during his unveiling at Barcelona 🙈🙈 pic.twitter.com/2jAWpWzEfa— Soccer AM (@SoccerAM) June 14, 2019
2. Theo Hernandez
Theo Hernandez also suffered an acute case of the Paulinhos when he signed for Real Madrid in 2018, fluffing his grand Bernabeu bow in embarrassing fashion.
Imagine the horror if this happened to Eden Hazard at his Real Madrid unveiling. The famous keepy-up fail from Theo Hernandez 😂 pic.twitter.com/QF5Biz5ZlZ— Soccer AM (@SoccerAM) June 14, 2019
3. Ousmane Dembele
Ousmane Dembele's footwork also went completely to pot on his maiden appearance at the Camp Nou, when Barca's new £96 million man looked, somewhat worryingly, like he'd never played football before in his life.
The unveiling of Dembele 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/jXBevPuWSW— Aaron (@fitzpatrky) August 29, 2017
4. Roberto Soldado
Roberto Soldado moved to Villarreal in 2015 and quickly set about demonstrating his deadly finishing prowess by attempting to kick a ball into a grandstand full of fans -- and somehow missing it entirely.
Throwback to when Soldado failed to boot the ball into the crowd at his Villarreal unveiling 😂 pic.twitter.com/KcOYE3GBOw— Dream Team (@dreamteamfc) August 29, 2017
5. Mario Gotze
Upon signing for Bayern Munich, Mario Gotze was almost immediately fined €10,000 for wearing a Nike T-shirt while being unveiled by a club that has counted Adidas among its majority shareholders for decades.
6. Alan Hutton
After signing for Real Mallorca (yep, we have no memory of it either!), Alan Hutton sadly put his boots on the wrong feet before attempting to dazzle his new fans with his silky footwork.
7. Yerry Mina
Yerry Mina brought his own Barca unveiling to a momentary halt when he stopped on his way out of the Camp Nou tunnel to remove his boots and socks.
It later emerged that it was a superstitious ritual the Colombian defender performs whenever he moves clubs.
8. Mateo Kovacic
Mateo Kovacic made an admirable effort to speak Spanish after signing for Real Madrid, only to greet everybody at the Bernabeu in Catalan -- the dialect spoken by rivals Barcelona.
We're still not sure if one of his new Real teammates stitched him up or not.
When Flamengo took a punt on Ronaldinho in 2015, they probably knew they were signing a player with a slightly nonchalant approach to ... well, everything.
Little wonder then that the Brazilian maestro was an hour late for his own unveiling ceremony.
- Muita vontade de fazer história neste clube - R10 pic.twitter.com/MfbYH1th7y— Fluminense F.C. (@FluminenseFC) July 19, 2015
10. Marco Perez
Marco Perez joined Real Zaragoza on a two-year deal in July 2010. Sadly, his presentation was a calamity and things got steadily worse from that point on.
After scoring just one goal in 12 months, the striker returned to Colombia at the end of the season after Zaragoza terminated his loan prematurely.
Marco Pérez le hizo un gol a Boca y automáticamente nos acordamos de su presentación en Zaragoza 🤣 pic.twitter.com/4qje7paeOc— TyC Sports (@TyCSports) April 25, 2019
Bakambu to Barcelona aborted
As transfer deadline day rumbles away, just spare a thought for Cedric Bakambu -- the man who had his dream move scuppered before it had even begun.
Having formerly played for Villarreal, Bakambu left to join Beijing Guoan in the January window of 2018.
After two years in China, it looked like the DR Congo international was on the brink of sealing a grand return to La Liga when none other than Barcelona enquired as to his availability.
After hearing that an initial agreement had been reached, Bakambu was so keen to get a deal over the line that he decided to fly from Seoul, South Korea (where he was stationed on international duty) to Hong Kong, where he planned to board a long-haul flight back to Spain.
According to Catalan broadcasters TV3, the 28-year-old winger was already in transit when Barca changed their mind and pulled the plug on the deal.
Thankfully, he didn't get on the plane in Hong Kong and was left to turn around and travel back to Seoul, where he rejoined his Congolese teammates.
Bakambu was also able to laugh at the flunked transfer, tweeting to ask TransferMarkt if they would be willing to add that he was "almost" a Barcelona player on his profile.
Yo @Transfermarkt change my transfer history with "Almost @FCBarcelona" please 😅😂— Cédric Bakambu (@Bakambu17) January 30, 2020
No matter what happens we trust the process.
Thank God for everything 🙏🏾
See you an other time @AntoGriezmann 😜 https://t.co/eeOzZMU7V2
So close, and yet so very, very far.
Eric Cantona stars in Liam Gallagher video
Eric Cantona is one of Manchester United's greatest ever players.
Liam Gallagher, former front man of Oasis and now solo star, is a rabid Manchester City fan.
So these two don't go together, right? Wrong!
Cantona leads in the line in the new video for "Once," by Liam Gallagher. And, of course, The King plays The King. Gallagher is reduced to butler and chauffeur duties.
Cantona might be 53, but he was still happy to strut around a mansion wearing only boxer shorts and a robe while drinking the finest red wine, before donning a cloak and crown, miming the words to Gallagher's song.
In more Cantona news, he made us wait for many, many years, but people the world over can finally smell exactly like him.
The Manchester United legend has launched a range of colognes for Nostra, the eco-friendly cosmetics company he co-founded with his wife, Rachida Brakni.
The three signature Cantona scents are amber wood and almond, orange blossom and mandarin tree, and wild mint and verbena leaves.
The 53-year-old claims the fragrances are inspired by the three disciplines that structured his footballing career: "prepare, act, recover."
Thankfully, the amateur philosophy has been left aside. It's probably best that they don't smell of seagulls and trawlers.