The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Jump to: Ighalo marks debut off United bench with as many shots on target as entire Chelsea team | Chelsea-bound Ziyech launches clothing range with Ajax | New ball for Champions League knockout phase unveiled | Giant cucumber mascot clears stadium with t-shirt cannon
Maguire was on the score sheet as United earned themselves a decent 2-0 win at Chelsea on Monday night. The England centre-back stepped up in the 66th minute to ensure the victory at Stamford Bridge by powerfully heading home Bruno Fernandes' corner.
Many Chelsea fans were incensed that Maguire was even on the pitch, after VAR had dismissed appeals for a red card against him in the first half for kicking out at Michy Batshuayi.
However, there was no need to fret: Maguire's goal that night was written in the stars -- or at least written in a prematch text message exchange with his younger brother, Chesterfield defender Laurence Maguire.
Harry predicted that he'd capitalise on an in-swinging corner to "score around the back" against the Blues, as Laurence revealed after his older sibling came good on his promise.
😂😂 It's about time 💪🔴— Harry Maguire (@HarryMaguire93) February 17, 2020
After the game, Maguire, 26, was able to settle a light-hearted score with United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer after finally opening his account for the season at the 26th time of asking.
"We've had an ongoing joke with Harry and his headers, [it was] about time [he scored]," Solskjaer chuckled.
It's about time the man known in the England squad as "Slabhead" began living up to his name.
Ighalo marks debut off United bench with as many shots on target as entire Chelsea team
Odion Ighalo had as many shots on target as the entire Chelsea team last night.— ESPN UK (@ESPNUK) February 18, 2020
He came on in the 91st minute 😳 pic.twitter.com/tVKrQx4rBp
After a slightly delayed start to his Manchester United career, Odion Ighalo was able to make his debut for the club on Monday.
The striker emerged from the bench for the final few minutes of the win over Chelsea, becoming the first Nigerian to play for United in the Premier League in the process.
Replacing Anthony Martial in stoppage time, Ighalo didn't manage to find the net during his brief maiden appearance, but he did at least muster a shot on target.
That's precisely as many shots on target as Chelsea's entire team managed despite being collectively afforded an extra 91 minutes on the pitch to do so.
In his four-minute cameo, Ighalo also amassed six touches, one successful dribble and a 100% pass completion rate (one pass completed!).
With stats like that, his value on the transfer market is set to skyrocket.
Chelsea-bound Ziyech launches clothing range with Ajax
He may have a lucrative Premier League move pending, but Hakim Ziyech is still an Ajax player for the time being and he's very much still part of the fabric at the Dutch side.
Indeed, the Morocco winger has launched his very own range of clothing in collaboration with Ajax under the "HZ22" brand.
The sportswear, which all bears Ziyech's gilded signature, is available through the Amsterdam club's official store with the range consisting of t-shirts, hoodies and sweats.
Fans will have to be quick if they wish to get their hands on Ziyech merchandise, as the 26-year-old has already agreed to join Chelsea at the end of the 2019-20 season.
New ball for Champions League knockout phase unveiled
Adidas have revealed the official match ball that will be used for the remainder of the 2019-20 Champions League 2020 knockout stages.
With the tournament set to kick back into life on Tuesday, Adidas have unveiled the ball that will be lashed about on the road to Istanbul: the imaginatively titled "Istanbul 20."
The ball design features a hand-drawn map of the Turkish capital and the Ataturk Stadium, which is set to host the grand final in May.
It's also a deep purple colour, apparently inspired by the sun setting "from east to west over the Bosphorus."
Giant cucumber mascot clears stadium with T-shirt cannon
🎁SORTEO I Hasta los que estaban fuera de Butarque se llevaron camiseta... No os enfadéis pepineros, la próxima vez lo haremos mejor 😉😘— C.D. Leganés (@CDLeganes) February 17, 2020
Dinos por qué te mereces una equipación y entre los mejores comentarios sortearemos dos camisetas verdes. 🥒 #EnamoradoDeTi pic.twitter.com/WKrZ4a4l8K
CD Leganes' ever-popular mascot Super Pepino (who is, naturally, giant cucumber) was doing his morale-raising bit, firing free t-shirts out to the La Liga club's fans at the Estadio Butarque.
Unfortunately, the superhero legume underestimated the strength of his mighty cannon as he sent the shirts sailing over everybody's heads and clean out of the ground.
Of course, we laugh, but this is exactly how Maude Flanders met her untimely demise.
Perhaps Pepino used his sight-beyond sight to spot a couple of Leganes supporters walking past outside and decided to bestow them with a lovely gift too?